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So, experts believe, men have evolved for some of that testosterone to go.

Davos Being a Dad For 4 Minutes Straight

In a pioneering five-year study published in , for instance, Dr. Lee Gettler, Ph.

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Gettler found that while all men in the study experienced normal, age-related dips in testosterone, the men who became dads during that five-year period experienced a more significant drop — an average 34 percent when measured at night — than those who remained single or married. Caring for your child, therefore, produces not only a strong bond but a neurochemical reward, inducing feelings of happiness, contentment and warmth — a welcome trade-off. The brain also appears to undergo structural changes to ensure that fathers exhibit the key skills of parenting.

In , Dr.

Pilyoung Kim, Ph. The workday can beat the joy out of you. But when you come home after a long day at the office and throw off your shoes and collapse on the couch, and then you notice those little faces running towards you, so happy and grateful to see you again, it makes every grueling moment worth it.


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When you pick up a kid in your arms, with the last bit of strength you have after a punishing day, it's a reminder of why you bother to throw yourself into the rat race at all. It might be a clumsy but beautiful ballet when they're just five, or hitting their first home run in a youth league baseball game, but when they have that moment, doing something you either never tried or never did that perfectly as a kid, it can be enough to make you dizzy with pride.

Everything they learn, it in some way involves you. When they walk for the first time, you'll be holding their hands. When they learn to ride a bike, you'll be right behind them, holding them by the waist. When they learn to read, you'll be holding the book.


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When they learn to do math, you'll be sitting right next to them, cheering them on. You'll be like their personal Yoda. And speaking of Yoda…. The first time they see Star Wars , it's going to be with you! If Star Wars isn't your nerdy cultural touchstone, it'll be something else — and we all have one, let's not pretend otherwise — and you're going to be the person who shows it to them first. They might hate it.

Honestly, odds are they won't have the same emotional attachment to it that you do. But you'll be the one who shares it with them first. And that counts for an awful lot. Your idealized vision of fatherhood probably isn't going to pan out.

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They're not going to be as much into baseball as you'd hoped. Or they don't love the same cartoons or board games or pop culture benchmarks that were so meaningful to your childhood. And Star Wars? Sorry, they're just not interested. Feeling that sting, and being okay with the rejection, is in some ways the epitome of what it means to be a dad.

Come oooon! Do we even need to explain why this is awesome? Have you ever cuddled all morning with your kid and then realized you'd made plans to meet somebody, and you were like, "We told them we'd be there," and your kid was like, "I don't wanna? It's a day that's literally just about you.

You're the whole holiday! You know how Christmas is about celebrating the birth of the Baby Jesus? For Father's Day, you're the Baby Jesus! It's all about you, and how ridiculously awesome you are. It's a day where staying in pajamas and doing absolutely nothing and maybe eating donuts in bed and being generally unproductive is not just tolerated but expected and celebrated.

That annual checkup you've been putting off for too many years? Now that you're a daddy, it's harder to make excuses like "I feel fine, what's the big deal? Whoever is co-raising this little demon — sorry, we mean angel — with you, they must be a remarkable person. Maybe they even gave birth to this tiny human being.

Can you imagine? And yet they still decided to stick around. They're nurturing and patient and loving in ways you wish you could live up to, and they're strong when you feel like falling apart, and you can't imagine doing this without them.

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Having a kid is a surefire way of making you realize what a lucky SOB you actually are. You're never too old or too clever to realize that sometimes you're in over your head. Parenting is hard, and sometimes you have to cry "Uncle. You're not going to win every showdown with your child. When you actually accept that, and realize that sometimes they're not going to eat even a bite of a vegetable, or get into a bath, or go to sleep because you said it's bedtime and why are you ignoring everything I'm saying? If you've been alive long enough, you start to miss a lot of the details.

Who has time to just sit and watch construction workers, or be awestruck at the simple beauty of a tree, or giggle at how amazing water feels when splashed in your face in a bathtub? But a kid isn't about to let those incredible moments slip away, and they won't let you miss them either.


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Someday they're going to be grownup people, and they'll want to start their own lives, in their own homes where there'll raise their own families. It's equal parts exhilarating and terrifying, to realize that these tiny people that you created from scratch, and spent decades crafting into confident and beautiful human beings, will someday be independent enough to go it alone. Doing so allows your partner a break from the action. Share bottle duties.

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If your partner is nursing, once breastfeeding is established there's more than one way to feed your baby. Make the most of the moment by striking a nursing position, with your baby snuggled close and the bottle where the breast would be. Opening up your shirt for skin-on-skin contact will enhance the experience for both of you. Take the night shift. Share in the early weeks of sleepless nights. Even if you're not giving supplementary bottles, there's plenty you can do: Pick baby up, do any necessary diaper changing, deliver baby to mom for feedings and return baby to the crib or bassinet once the feeding is finished.

Not only will you be connecting more with your baby, you'll also be giving Mom some much-needed rest. Be a bouncer. Friends and family will no doubt be anxious to meet your brand-new baby, but know when to say no…and hold your ground. If you and Mom are wiped out or just not up to guests yet, feel free to politely banish newborn visitors. Pick up her shift. So pick up the slack on dishes, laundry, dusting, thank-you notes — whatever needs doing, whenever you can. Don't be a martyr.